struggles

Everyone has their own problems and struggles.  Struggle to accept reality and etc.  For me, i struggle to fight and control the wolf within me daily. 

我心里的那个名字

刻在我心里的名字，如果有下次我会再爱一次

你的生日一辈子都不会忘

骗

还以为找到了，原来又是另一个骗子

梦可以醒了

这一生就一个人过了

first Christmas without pa n ma

今年是个很寂寞的圣诞。 少了爸爸妈妈。

Feeling very lonely n sad.  Miss the two of them very much

Have been chatting with a guy from china for a month. Nice chap, making my heart fluttered but yet again he could be another fake bastard ready to cheat my money

When will i finally meet a real one?   

Someone whom i can spend the rest of my life with and never be lonely anymore.  

Or maybe I'm really destined to live a life as a celibate n alone. 

遇到了一个让我心动的男生

但是却不敢去爱

怕又是另一个骗局

怕距离太远

怕。。我不能去爱

first birthday without my parents

16 Nov 2021.. first birthday without my parents...

My heart is heavy.

Brother turning cheeky is making me worst.  I rather he not talk to me.

A sign that I'm No longer young and definitely growing older

I miss pa n ma very much.  Wish can hug and kiss them again. 

又想您了

最后一次带您来这时，您有多高兴。 也是您最后一次来这了。永远忘不了你哪兴奋高兴的笑容。好想您，爸爸。

what if..

I met a young.boy in his secondary school uniform on my way to my condo. We boarded the same bus and alighted and same stop. As i walk up the staircase and tap on the gate, he followed behind me and i opened for him.  And as we walked to my block he was in front of me, haha we stayed at the same block. He in turn opened the gate for me. And even get into the same lift. It appears tat he is my neighbour.  He gives me the feel of a honely good boy. And i start to think, if i had married early,my son would be his age 😅. I guess i had missed out the golden years. 

5 months on...

Everyone i met kept telling me with a big smile, wah.. now u no more burden, no more stress.  

Yes, there's no more stress.  But i am not happy about it. A awkward feeling of calm. Or shall i say, blank.  No feel of pain, grieve, sadness, happiness whatsoever.  Just blank.

I miss my Daddy.

到处是孤独星

原来这世上有很多孤独星星

每个在寻在爱情，寻找依靠

孤独星6

孤独星原来是个骗局

骗了感情，骗了钱财

愿孤独星女能找到真爱

孤独星男会被捉收到法律制裁，不让他再到处骗人

孤独星 5

若孤独星男， 不再理会孤独星女的话

就把他当成一个美丽的邂逅吧

至少在那一个半月里，有人关心过我

晚安是你对我說的最后一句话

留了一个问号。 

到底发生了什么事?

孤独星 4

一切都好像是在梦里。 

Very surreal

It dont feel real

Too good to be true

When a man u have never seen, wants to help u in your life

It is so good to be true

That i fear, the moment i wake up...

All will be gone, no love, no man, no money

孤独星3

孤独星男对孤独星女說。。。師傅在徒弟那裡只能是唯一，徒弟在師傅心裏也只是唯一。。

孤独星男又说。。。徒弟可是師傅的關門弟子，在師傅心裏的位置可是不一般的，別人替代不了。。

孤独星女的心融化了。从未曾有人这样的对她说这类的话语。

两颗孤独星，会不会不再孤独了?  这一切会不会变成一个美丽的句点呢? 

孤独星2

相似两夫妻似的

早安，吃饱吗，会忙吗，别累坏，

开车小心，晚安，甜梦

初次的心跳加速以漫漫平常

似乎向理所当然

就是他

却彼此都没见过面

是命运在作弄? 

等了好久，等到对的人

但是却见不了面

孤独星

就像两颗孤独的星星，从远方看到对方

只等，碰到后会不会有火花了

是老了吗

是老了吗?

为何心一动❤，心跳就这样快

这因该是我最后一次心动了吧

已经可以想象会发生的是

为何我还要头露进去

因为从未体会恋爱种的感觉

guardian angel 2 my dream partner

You always appear 

As a big muscular and tall guy

I felt a sense of security whenever you appear 

The last i dreamt u were lying beside me, we were cuddling like a pair of lovers. 

When i ask for more, you were so shy you ran away.

Are you the one? The partner i have been waiting for all these years. I'm aging soon at a fast rate, so please hide no more. 

I am at a house without voice, no one talks. The loneliness is killing cos i have so much to say. 

Where are you, the partner i have been waiting, i have so much to tell you. Please hide no more.

wat family?

The family splits the moment mom left

The family is gone the moment dad decide to shut off from the world. 

The brother i know is dead the moment u put your hands around my neck threatening to kill n rape me

I tried to forgive u. But the scar on my arm tells me not to. 

I wanted to teach u how to survive on your own when i leave, but the stubborn u refused to put down your ego to learn

I wanted to help you save money but you refused thinking I'm using your money

You are one stupid bastard who thinks  you know everything but you do not. This ego of yours will kill u, 

I'm glad i wont be around to see

Your mother tries to teach you but you scolded n abuse her love for u. 

And you are doing the same to your sister. 

N yes i hate you to the core. 

You are like the devil trying to disturb my peace whenever i am reaching the peaceful mind. 

You are the big fat leech sucking me dry of my resources 

I know u hate me. I hate u just as much 

what if

He excitedly show me his new phone. Still nicely placed in the package 

He's waiting for me to help him setup. As always. 

I threw him the qns.. wat if i threw into a fit n never regained consciousness n never make my way home.  

So ypur phone will never be setup?