骗

还以为找到了，原来又是另一个骗子

梦可以醒了

这一生就一个人过了

first Christmas without pa n ma

今年是个很寂寞的圣诞。 少了爸爸妈妈。

Feeling very lonely n sad.  Miss the two of them very much

Have been chatting with a guy from china for a month. Nice chap, making my heart fluttered but yet again he could be another fake bastard ready to cheat my money

When will i finally meet a real one?   

Someone whom i can spend the rest of my life with and never be lonely anymore.  

Or maybe I'm really destined to live a life as a celibate n alone. 

遇到了一个让我心动的男生

但是却不敢去爱

怕又是另一个骗局

怕距离太远

怕。。我不能去爱

first birthday without my parents

16 Nov 2021.. first birthday without my parents...

My heart is heavy.

Brother turning cheeky is making me worst.  I rather he not talk to me.

A sign that I'm No longer young and definitely growing older

I miss pa n ma very much.  Wish can hug and kiss them again. 

又想您了

最后一次带您来这时，您有多高兴。 也是您最后一次来这了。永远忘不了你哪兴奋高兴的笑容。好想您，爸爸。

what if..

I met a young.boy in his secondary school uniform on my way to my condo. We boarded the same bus and alighted and same stop. As i walk up the staircase and tap on the gate, he followed behind me and i opened for him.  And as we walked to my block he was in front of me, haha we stayed at the same block. He in turn opened the gate for me. And even get into the same lift. It appears tat he is my neighbour.  He gives me the feel of a honely good boy. And i start to think, if i had married early,my son would be his age 😅. I guess i had missed out the golden years. 

5 months on...

Everyone i met kept telling me with a big smile, wah.. now u no more burden, no more stress.  

Yes, there's no more stress.  But i am not happy about it. A awkward feeling of calm. Or shall i say, blank.  No feel of pain, grieve, sadness, happiness whatsoever.  Just blank.

I miss my Daddy.