Our last night

I slept by your bedside

With my head leaning beside your frail body

Your heavy breathing kept me up

I knew time is running out

The soothing sound of chants from the old radio
Like a lullaby to calm my worried mind

In your semi conscious mind
You awoke from your sleep
Why are you sleeping here? you asked worriedly in your hoarse weak voice 
Take my pillow and sleep..
I declined and tried to pacify you to rest and not to worry about me
That was the last loving words i heard from you..
On this night a year ago...

Our last night

As mother and child.....

思念

仿佛听见您的声音... 一个我很想念的声音...一个我不可能会听到的声音...是否我还在梦境里...只有在梦里才能偶尔看见你...无常把我俩阴阳相隔...
时间把我的痛给慢慢复合...思念却越来越深...一年了..爱我的不离不弃... 不了解我的...无音讯...困境见真情...
日子还是要碍过去...带着坚强面具继续您给我的这个生命...
直到我们母女再相遇

想你

想念你的笑容
想念你的抱抱
想念你的唠叨
想念和你斗嘴

想念你煮的菜
想念你熬的汤
想吃你煮的粥
好想好想你的一切一切

in my dreams

Year 2015

A new year begins
The old one ends
Leave all tears n sadness behind
Pray for hope, health and love
For all my family n friends
Pray for peace, compassion and enlightenment to be unto all sentient beings
Let not the nightmares of 2014 happened again
Pray the new year be blessed

Little umbrella

We shared a little umbrella on a rainy day
You're breathing heavily and near
i can feel your eager lips trembling from the cold saying,
you shade yourself I'm fine.
I wrapped my arms around you trying to keep you warm
Your weak and frail body trying to keep up with my pace
Go on you walk ahead, you said with shivering voice
panting u are from the tedious journey
You stopped walking and stopped
With teary eyes you tried to bid me farewell
Pass me the umbrella and coax me to continue the walk
I turned trying to grab your hands
But alas i cant find you nowhere

旅行

就当你去了很远很远很远很远的地方旅行
要很久很久很久才能回来
那里没有postman, 没有电话, 没有internet
完全不能和我们联络
那个地方,未来的日子里我们都回去的

你要好好照顾自己
不要挂念我们
我们会照顾自己
请您等我
我们到那时再见面
妈咪我永远爱你

Happy birthday to me

You brought me to this world
Taught me all i need to know
Gave me unconditional love n endless patience
Stood by me when i was down
Gave me advices and listening ear 24/7
never have i expected last year was the last i hear u sing  happy birthday to me.

2 months

2 months have passed
Oh how fast time flies
After all the hustles and bustles
The house is now quiet
Occasional laughter just to buried the sorrow

痛

回家最痛的是
永远看不到你的慈祥的笑容
永远不能给你爱的抱抱
永远喝不到你的爱心燙
永远吃不到你煮的丰富晚餐
永远不能跟你谈天说地
妈咪。。。好想好想你

Invictus

At a difficult time, there are people who tell me to stop the fight and accept as it is. 
And there are those who tell me to remain strong and never lose the Faith.

Dear Lord, please bless my Mum and let there be a cure for her.  I do not wish to lose her so early..
There are many I love yous that I have not said enough and many I'm sorrys that I have not said.
The many hugs and kisses that I still want to give her.. The many places that I would like to go with her to spread Your good word.
Dear Lord, please I beg... let her live.


Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

The Iron lady

18 years of roller coaster ride
Tired and worn am I But still I need to move
To be the ironman For my folks to rely on
The comedian to add humour to their lives
The tears and loneliness have to be hidden
Beneath the mask of smiles and toughness
Friends only watch at the sidelines
And shoutout words of encouragement s
They didn't know I really need a shoulder to cry on
and a hand to give me an extra push
Everyone is deceived by my mask of happy laughter

How very much I would like to hole up in a corner and cry out loud
Seeing her frail body just tore my heart apart
Deep inside I knew she needs me more
I have to be strong..I need to be strong