Tuesday, November 3, 2015

妈妈好久没给您写信, 天堂还适应吗?
骆经理, 大胰丈, 已过世了。 你有看到他在天堂吗? 大胰很伤心。
谢妈妈也过世了, 您有看到他吗? 你们可以和四嫂一起打麻将了!

妈妈不要担心我会难过了。 我想开了。 因为我知道你现在过得比我好。逍遥自在。

妈妈我可否换工作? 最近做得不是很开心。老板什么事都不管了。 公司也没生意。一位好同事也被要求辞职。 懒惰的马屁精们却没事, 看了真不服气。 做到心灰意冷。 我这么拼命是为了什么。

妈妈最近有别的公司要求我的厉录票, 我也给了。 要是适合我的话请让一切顺顺利利。我最担心换了工作没时间照顾爸爸。

妈妈您保佑爸爸不要痴呆太快。 这样就好不要恶化。

妈妈我因该找个女佣吗? 不知道嘞。又怕怕会带给我临外的烦恼。

妈妈您好吗。好想您。

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

To the future hubby of Ms Tan

Hello..my future husband. i didnt know how to address you tat is why I'm calling you husband of Ms Tan.
I don't know what kept you so long from appearing. You have missed out my youthful years. But its good that you didnt appear then.  I was an unstable kid fighting the symptoms of lupus.  it was a tough fight of 20 years. Oh yes still fighting but Mr lupus is more accomodating nowadays. Although at times he will kick up some waves, all is tamed when I'm focus and calm.  Oh well long way to go still just hope when you meet me you are able to accept him as part of my life.

I very well know you are not Mr Kane chen. I was crazy over him but somehow i knew you are not him. He taught me a good lesson though.. there is this thing called loving myself so that others can love me.
Perhaps you will be able to love me more when you meet me now than then.
Neither are you are those past crushes..they look cute but just dont click.

You have missed out the most terrrible days of my life. No..its not lupus..its my mum's passing.  She left a deep wound in my heart that i wish you are able to heal it.  i have to grow up and learn to take careof the household and finances overnight. I'm clueless over finance and how i wish you could be here to help and advise me.  How many nights i wept alone in my bedroom.  I yearn for a shoulder.. dad's one seems a bit weak now..although its still comforting he's well n with me. 

I waited and waited and waited and you still haven't appear. I decided to be strong and move on without you. I miss her very very much.  She's was my main support. The reason why active search for you is not important. She's my everything.  And now she's gone..

But I'm not going to start this active search. If you are mine..you will appear sooner or later. I believe.

My colleague Sylvia told me from my horoscope a late relationship will benefit me. And you will be the perfect guy. Oh well..she lit some sparkles which make me write this blog page.  Haha..mum is going to be real happy to know.

But please.. dont let me wait for too long.  Waiting right here.

Monday, September 21, 2015

好像听到您在呼唤我的名。。。我是疯了吗?

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

七夕节

七月初七七夕节
牛郎织团圆日
我们母女两却分离
是否会像他们俩
有团圆的一天

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Our last night

I slept by your bedside

With my head leaning beside your frail body

Your heavy breathing kept me up

I knew time is running out

The soothing sound of chants from the old radio
Like a lullaby to calm my worried mind

In your semi conscious mind
You awoke from your sleep
Why are you sleeping here? you asked worriedly in your hoarse weak voice 
Take my pillow and sleep..
I declined and tried to pacify you to rest and not to worry about me
That was the last loving words i heard from you..
On this night a year ago...

Our last night

As mother and child.....

Sunday, August 2, 2015

一年就这样匆匆的过了
失去的悲伤慢慢复合
思念的痛被忙碌的生活掩盖着
偶尔想起眼泪不知不觉中掉了
大家都说我很坚强
他们却不知我每晚都是用棉被插眼泪
好想给您写封信就像从前您出远门一样
告诉您我们现在过得如何
却怕会扰乱您现在的平静
我好想您。
七夕节
您和我们阴阳分离
但我感觉一直都在
从没有离开

Tuesday, July 14, 2015


仿佛上天知道没有妈妈的日子我会很难过
恩师安排了这首歌让我带唱
 
感恩天恩师德的疼爱, 为了我这不孝子,安排了很多胘化
 
輕輕的問聲好徒弟 你們近來可如意 

漫漫長夜裏 未來日子裏  

不要獨自在角落哭泣 

遠方的路雖然多荊棘 

你要勇敢的踏過去

不怕有狂風 不怕有暴雨 

師在風雨之中幫助你


紅塵顛覆造賢奇 徒兒當要磨鍊自己 

沒有師的日子裏 你要保重你自己  

師問徒何時歸故里 你當心中有主意 

為了報天恩 為了了愿立 

再大逆境也要衝過去