Dad as usual walked into my room because he can't sleep.

he lie down on my bed beside me. He stared at our family portrait on my wall and asked when was this taken, this is not the first time he asked. 

I replied as always in a candied tone.. we went cruise how can u forget..

Then he stood up and starts to look around at my messy table.

And he bend forward to pick up something.  It was my mum's photo when she was young.

She gave to my dad when they were dating. He giggled when he looked at the photo. I asked, your Girlfriend? He giggled even louder. 

His giggles brought my tears down. These tears had been held inside for months...and perhaps a year...I had promised my mum after her 2nd anniversary that I will not cry anymore. I will be happy and I will control my temper. 

I missed her terribly.. terribly. Especially during this festive period. 

I was trying to call you, knowing you are admitted to hospital. I miss your voice andwanted to know how you are doing and what did the doctor say... But you didn't bring your phone along and I was looking and searching for the hospital hotline to call you. I search and search and call this number and that number... then I realised..... you have already passed away... and I woke up from my dream...I miss hearing your voice...😢

可惜不是您

可惜不是您
陪我到最后
可惜不是您
看到我的成就

好想那就是您
和我一起鼓掌
好想看到您
自豪的笑容

感谢那是您
牵过我的手
感恩的是您
为我铺的路
让我拥有今天的一切

好想好想您

Guardian angel

It's not the first time
You appear in my dreams
You were always in white
Always holding my hand
Always reassuring me
Everything is alright I am by your side
You appear recently
While I was jumping through several hurdles
Like a martial arts expert
When I came to a real high wall
Everyone jumped down effortlessly
I was afraid of the height
You suddenly appear at the opposite block held out your hand and lower me down
What are you? Who are you?
Always smiling yet never a word you said
Whatever it is...
I believe you are always with me..
In my happy times
In my struggling times
In my depressive times
Thank you
Thank you my Guardian Angel.

Path

You walk beside me
On this rocky path
You had your plans
I have my dreams
My feel is strong
But your gaze is cold
We were so close
Yet oceans apart

七月初七

您选了一个浪漫的节日离开

Soursop

Everytime I go Malaysia for work or for leisure i have this habit of buying soursop back to Singapore if I see them at the Malaysian fruit stalls.
I selected 2 today on my way back from malacca.   1 for my family and 1 for my neighbour.
I was wondering aloud...why did I keep buying soursop?
It was mum's favourite fruit...the voice inside me said. But she's no longer around to eat them...why do I still buy?
The voice said again...mummy likes to eat soursop.
Tears that had stopped rolling for months...rolled again...
I miss her so much... 2 years just passed with a blink of an eye
2 years.. 12 Aug....