movie damcing with the wolf

Scene

She arrive at airport, he was there. 

She ran towards him. They hug. She cant control anymore and cried. She had held her tears long enough. The loss of her father was just too much for her,  years of putting up a strong outfront after her mother's death. The strong wall finally brke apart

5 years on

5 years on..

I have my 3 Cs but you are not around to enjoy with me

There are a lot more new delicious eateries but i have to eat alone imagine u are beside me

I have new gossips cant wait to share with you but i can only speak to your altar imagining u can hear me from up there

I want to complain about the nasty people i met at work but i can knly write here in my blog n suck in the anger

I have made new decisions, i wish to share with you.. but .. i can only let my tears roll 

家

当回到家却再也没有人对你关心的笑了。

再也不会有人会对我关心的笑

爸爸再也不会笑，妈妈已经不在了

40

16.  Sweet sixteen was even sweeter when i know i made it to a junior college.

17.  Never have i thought i would live to see my 18th birthday.  Thank God i did.  And there's a new guy in my life called...lupus.

37.  Never have i thought i would lose my mum to cancer. 

40.  Never have i thought i would live to see myself at 40.  And never have i thought that i have to face Alzheimer with Dad. Long fight ahead

Love

Have you ever love someone in a way that when he or she's gone for a short trip.. you cry everyday until he or she is back by your side?

Have you ever love someone such that when you need to share his or her love with others you get so angry with jealousy?

Have you ever love someone so much that only you and you alone can be allowed to scold him or her and no one else?

Have you love so much that you need to hear his or her voice daily?

Have you love so much that when he or she's gone forever you are filled with anger with grief with lost with despair ?

I have...

People who knows me and my mum likes to compare.  how well they took care of their mum better than me.
How close they are to their mum than i was.
What they do this to their mum which i didnt.
How did u even know what i do at home with mum.?
You took care of your mum better than me.  Good for you.  I never say i was a filial child.
I never was.
Why you to bring it up everytime?

I bet our mothers wont be comparing whose child is better up there.
I just dont understand
Whats with the comparison.

Dad as usual walked into my room because he can't sleep.

he lie down on my bed beside me. He stared at our family portrait on my wall and asked when was this taken, this is not the first time he asked. 

I replied as always in a candied tone.. we went cruise how can u forget..

Then he stood up and starts to look around at my messy table.

And he bend forward to pick up something.  It was my mum's photo when she was young.

She gave to my dad when they were dating. He giggled when he looked at the photo. I asked, your Girlfriend? He giggled even louder. 

His giggles brought my tears down. These tears had been held inside for months...and perhaps a year...I had promised my mum after her 2nd anniversary that I will not cry anymore. I will be happy and I will control my temper. 

I missed her terribly.. terribly. Especially during this festive period.